Hoy me voy a permitir la libertad de hacer algo que nunca antes habia echo y hacer el blog en ingles. Y es que Coxy escribio una cronica del viaje a nueva zelanda bastante ingeniosa para mandarla a los amigos, y he pensado que deberia ponerla aqui, pero no la voy a traducir pues no tengo tiempo, asi que disfrutarla los que podais leerlo y los que no, pues lo siento.
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And so it was that 3 peanuts descended on NZ for ten days R&R. Picked up a near brand new Falcon and we were away. Day 1 saw us boozing it up on a Saturday night in ChCh. Garbo was feeling considerably fresher after booking a direct flight with Emirates (meals, blankets and pillows included), whilst Patel and Cox were up at 4:30am and had to endure a stopover in Auckland. Some observations of ChCh (mainly for Fran and Lowie): 1. There is a Selwyn st right next to where we stayed. 2. DB breweries smells when you are staying right nearby. 3. The strip on Oxford Terrace is farkin packed on a saturday night. The bars there are nice but all of them play golden oldies hits. 4. Holy Grail (ooo best sports bar in the world) has the potential to be a good sports bar, but NO sports bar in the world would – half an hour before the opening tri-nations tussle - suddenly ‘megahole’, switching the bigscreen to music clips and putting on Usher at 234894 decibels. That is woeful and had 2/3 of the peanuts shaking their heads (Grandpa Garbo was tucked up in bed after his long flight).

Next day was a long drive to Queenstown, recreating the Beer Gutted Gibbon’s Summer Road Trip of 2003. Lot of lakes on that drive. Garbo made us stop at every one. Even if he was asleep he would smell a lake and wake up to take photos “Eh Man, easy tigah! cmon, stop the car here, man”. Arriving in QTown late arvo, we settled in to our new digs on the Frankston road, 7 kms from Queenstown. Yeah thanks for booking such central accom Tobes. Seriously the place was pretty nice though, particularly for Sej who managed to procure double bed rights for the entire week, leaving Cox and Garbayo in the singles. The distance from town was no big issue, it just meant the Falcon had to make a few drunken trips into town and back. Luckily Garbo thinks that if you are busted drink-driving with a Spanish license they just let you go. QUOTE: “Haha they are Fark, man. What are they do, take points off my license? Is a Spanish license, man!”.

So the skiing began. We heard Remarks were the pick, so went up there first 2 days. The drive up there is pretty hairy if you have a crazy Spaniard at the wheel who looks out the window more than at the road. The weather was awesome everyday but due to the long lasting and ever present NO SNOW HEX put on myself, andy, micah, doom, and dan by the god of snow (lets call him ALPINEOS) there was not much snow about. pretty much rocks and grass off piste, meaning that groomed ice and terrain park was the only way to go. Sej took to snowboarding pretty well with a few lessons. 3rd day we made the 2 hour trek to Treble Cone. TC is an awesome resort which has basically doubled its lifted terrain this year, but unfortunately the snow quality was also pretty woeful. I took off a little lip and landed squarely on a submerged rock, causing a massive face plant and scratching my board to the core in 2 places. 4th day saw cox and patel jetboating on the shotover river which is highly recommended (while Garbo went off trying to find Gandalf and the Cave of Garbdork or some shyte) – then up the gondola for a bit of luge action. With his prior knowledge of the circuit the coxillator managed to take the crown again (that’s right Lowie - AGAIN) with some classic overtaking maneuvers that left the other peanuts in his wake. The pace was too much for Garbo who came a cropper on the hairpin, allowing the previously unfancied Sej “Tortoise” Patel to grab second. 5th day back to Remarkables where the attached vids were taken. not quite as much air as the 2004 Doom vintage, but nor did I end up in hospital crying for mummy hehehe. As you can see Sej has perfected the Horizontal Ass Plant 360 and Garbo pulled an absolute ripper out of his considerable bag of tricks.

Nightlife in Queenstown was fun. We dined in style every night before going out for some bevvies. Went to the worst restaurant in QTown one night, some Japanese joint where the waitresses just giggled and the kitchen took 2.5 hours to cook some teriyaki chicken. There were some unhappy punters in that restaurant. In the town’s bars, ALPINEOS arranged a 90:10 male:female split, so the 2 single blokes didn’t have much luck with any chicks, apart from occasionally gaining the attention of monstras or muchos las grande perigrassas. Was farkin funny watching blokes attempt to pick up though. If 2 chicks walked into the bar then the part of the pub they settled in would suddenly be chockers full of blokes standing around holding beers and acting like they had been there for hours. Garbo was usually one of those blokes, staring straight at the ladies and just waiting for a chance to be overheard talking in the chick pulling version of his accent. Sej was always around to tell any prospective chicks that Garbo was from Wollongong and put on the accent for the ladies. Basically I reckon that as a team, these 2 clowns probably couldn’t get laid at the playboy mansion.

Saturday saw the peanuts embark on a voyage of some difficulty. Queenstown à Hanmer Springs via the West Coast…in one day. Some travelers we spoke to spend 3 or 4 months doing this trip - we took 13 hours - including breakfast and lunch stops, Garbo lake photos and TWO glacier walks. Some nice 140km/h driving on one lane kiwi roads saw us get to the springs in time to watch the ABs get stuffed in the rugby. Err…not really appropriate at this point Lowie but I think I saw the site of the accident you attended that time. ½ way between Reefton and Springs Junction? there was a cross on the road next to a creek on the left. At night we went to the lovely Alpine Hotel Bar and Bistro, where a bunch of Las Perigrassas Chicas on a girls weekend made us dance to Bon Jovi’s living on a prayer with them. Sunday we spent 2 hours sitting on our dates in the thermal springs before driving to lovely Kaikoura, home of whales, dolphins, seals and my Grandpa. Had fish and chips and a couple of beers with the old feller, then back off to ChCh. Sej had been left to book the accom for the last night, and found us a lovely room in this deserted hotel which was a whorehouse until 4 days prior. There were dents in the middle of each bed and the toilet door had taxi numbers on it. The reception had a ladder in the middle and paint everywhere, and the people who have taken over forgot we booked and were super flustered when we arrived. They couldn’t even find the keys. Nice one Sej. He is available to book your next holiday for you if you want. There is nothing to do in ChCh on a Sunday night so we had a beer with my Cuz and then watched the ashes in a nearby pub. Most exciting test finish ive seen in ages. Poms deserved to lose it for that crap bowling. Yesterday saw Cox and Patel up at 4:30am again, on a flight Garbo told us to book because he wanted to work Monday. For some reason Garbo was on the 6pm flight though! Thanks Garbo, top work champ.

Today back to work, where I see that Remarkables got 25cms of freshies overnight. DAMN YOU ALPINEOS!

Yep, this is the longest email I have ever written. Im going now.

cheers,
Coxy
- posted by vir @ 5:33 a. m.